


The Shinobi version of Pride

by grit



Category: Naruto
Genre: Crack, F/F, Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-05-13 02:34:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19242067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grit/pseuds/grit
Summary: The coffee sways dangerously.





	The Shinobi version of Pride

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tius](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tius/gifts).



A knee suddenly drops on her torso. Sakura, only half-aware of her surroundings, twitches, pools chakra in her fist and is about to throw a punch when – “We're organizing a coup d'état.” It's Ino. Sakura would recognize her pungent voice anywhere.

She doesn't bother turning around, instead grabs a fistful of pillow and attempts to smother her headache in its wake. “What the fuck, Ino. Let me sleep.”

Her best friend scoffs, and though her thoughts are still muddy and slow, Sakura knows with a damning certainty that Ino won't let this go.

“Fine,” Sakura grumbles, and Ino victoriously clicks her tongue. “You. Are making me coffee first.”

“Sure thing, sleeping beauty,” Ino retorts mockingly, and the weight on Sakura's chest is lifted as the blonde rises to her feet, thrumming her nails against her arm when she exits the room to set up a pot.

“Huh?” Hinata murmurs confused, shaking herself awake, and Sakura lays a gentle hand to rest on her shoulder.

“Morning,” she whispers, and has to smile herself stupid at the happiness radiating from Hinata. The woman hums, leans forward and tucks her head under Sakura's chin. 

“Did you get an assignment?” Hinata asks finally.

Sakura shakes her head. “Ino,” is all she has to say, distaste lacing her tongue, and Hinata trills with soft laughter.

“Go on,” she says firmly. “Don't let me keep you.”

“I thought you were on my side,” Sakura complains.

Hinata purses her lips and inclines her head towards the snoring woman to her left. “I'm quite literally on Karin's side, and Karin tells me it's okay for me to stay out of Ino's warpath.”

“Wow, that's...” Sakura begins, clumsily rolling out of bed. “Wo – ouch.”

“Did you stub your toe against the table again?”

Sakura hisses and falls back into bed. “Kiss me better?”

“I told you to move it.” Hinata remains unperturbed.

Sakura draws out a long-suffering sigh. “Fine,” she says, getting the odd feeling she's been played.

The smell of freshly-brewed coffee gives her the strength to stumble into the hallway.

Sakura throws the door to the kitchen open and staggers into the by now well-lit room.

Cramped together at her table are Kakashi, Gai, Tenten, Naruto, Shino, Akamaru and Kiba. Sai is pouring them coffee while Ino watches the boiling eggs like a hawk. Sakura's eyes narrow to dangerous slits. Kakashi has snatched her favourite mug.

“Oh, hell no,” she says and turns around to go back and join her girlfriends.

The sight of Lee in her bathrobe has her shriek and lash out with her fist. He barely manages to duck out of harm's way. She barrels clean through the wall behind him.

“Sakura, how great of you to join us! Such vigour! Such energy! Tell me the secret to your smooth skin!” Lee prattles loudly.

“Yeah, Sakura! Tell us your secret,” Naruto calls, snickering. Kiba makes wet kissing noises.

“Sleep,” she grits out between her teeth, lowering her arm. “And quiet.”

Someone snatches her wrist and drags her towards the table. It's Ino, as she's commissioned Sai to watch the eggs for her. Who else would it be? “Good thing you gave me your spare set of keys and not Lee.” She says sweetly, sitting her down.

Sakura bristles. “Don't you dare.” It sounds less vicious than she intended, because halfway through a yawn cracks through her lungs.

“Ah, children.” Kakashi sighs, downing his coffee when she blinks, and she only catches him tugging his mask into place.

Naruto groans, “Oh, come on!”, and stacks of money are exchanged. Tenten is hoarding a considerable sum in front of her. She looks pleased.

“Children.” Kakashi sighs again, ignoring their antics. “They used to be so cute and fun.” 

Gai gives a serious nod, “Yes, my spring flower! We should have some!” 

“Please don't,” Naruto whispers, horrified.

Her former Jounin teacher looks seriously contemplative.

“Ugh, how are you this gay again?” Tenten complains from where she's squished between them. She's smiling though, and it might have to do with her counting the money she just collected. More than one pair of eyes track her hands as she unfurls a scroll and seals her winnings away.

Kakashi gives an unapologetic eye-smile. Gai slams his palm flat onto her table. “Oh, my smart student! We are!”

The coffee sways dangerously.

“Why,” Sakura interrupts, before the chaos can get any worse, “are you in my kitchen?”

“The law,” Sai says gravely.

Suddenly it's quiet and sober. They all know about the marriage law that was recently drafted and sitting idly on the councilmember's desks.

“We can't just sit around and do nothing,” Ino insists. “I have clan protection, and I'm happy with Sai, but this is wrong.”

“Wait,” Sakura says. “This involves Karin and Hinata, too.”

A few minutes later they're all assembled in the kitchen, and the mood has considerably dampened.

“The elders want me to marry some guy to pop out a kid? Well, first of all: fuck no. Second of all: the council can suck my dick.” Karin greets. “We agree on that?”

They all share this opinion. Sakura twitches, barely suppressing the urge to cover Hinata's ears protectively. Hinata rolls her eyes.

“They gave me a list of suitors. Anko-senpai was on that list.” Tenten scoffs. “Anko-senpai. As if. Do I look suicidal to you!? She'd kill me and bring me back to life just so Temari could kill me.”

“This law is a joke,” Ino mutters.

Sakura clears her throat. “All in favour of a coup?”

Nods of approval are given.

“Sweet.” Kiba flashes his pointy teeth, grabbing Shino's hand and raising it. “Fuck the law!”

Naruto stands abruptly, scraping his chair across the floor. “Fuck the elders!”

“Youth!!!” Lee adds. He's still wearing her fluffy red bathrobe. It looks better on him than on Sakura, as she notices with dismay, now that she's properly awake.

“You should keep your voice down, dickless,” Sai threatens, thoroughly enjoying himself.

“Hey, you asshole – I'm a boy right now! Want me to show you?!” Naruto dashes forward, flipping across the table to glare properly at his former teammate.

Sakura is between them in a flash and calmly raises a kunai to his throat. “Not in my household.”

“Sai, though rude, is right. Why, you ask? Because you're alerting half of Konoha.” Shino points out.

Naruto bows his head sheepishly, nicking himself on her blade. Sakura eyes him with little pity as he yelps in pain and jerks back.

When they're all settled into their respective seats again, Ino serves them an egg each. She declares, “Whoever gets the rotten one has to agree on being Hokage after this.”

“Hey – what, what about me?” Naruto asks. “I'd do it, 'ttebayo!”

“Naruto, you're a Genin,” Kakashi points out. “You never fill out paperwork. The whole job is about being responsible and completing office-work.”

“Give it more time! Be a genius of hard work!” Gai adds supportively.

Naruto sulks.

Sakura eyes her egg warily. It stares back innocuously. 

“H-how about we ask Chouji?” Hinata suggests.

“Devious,” Karin praises. “Hot.”

They agree on it.

Kiba barks out a laugh, “Right, so we only have to get rid of the fucking council now.” 

“Without taking the fall for it,” Tenten adds.

“Piece of cake,” Sakura concludes.

The manhunt that follows is gruesome, grand and generous on glitter. It involves chicken-chasing the elders through the streets of Konoha, a rolled-out rainbow carpet on which they display them tied together with a giant ribbon, and ripping the original marriage law into pieces.

The civilians call it the Shinobi version of Pride. It occurs every now and then, when an administration is particularly tasteless.


End file.
